dead skunk

There was a dead skunk on my lawn last night.

 I won't tell you how it got dead.

It was gone when I got up this morning, but I know it didn't walk away in a zombie-like state.

Girl had nightmares last night about skunks coming back to life and "getting" her.

I'm having olfactory daydreams about skunk-smell seeping into my house.

inbox junk mail

My inbox had 13 new messages -- 4 were from people offering either a penis implant or Viagara. Now I"m not sure how exactly my name got on this list; or who believes a mother of 2 requires Viagara (or a penis for that matter) but I'm resenting the fact that such ideas are in my mailbox. I also notice that I've received nothing offering breast implants. I'm not sure whether to be pleased or insulted, really.

I am declaring WAR. And not environmentally-friendly, globally responsible war. I mean globally-damaging, chemical-warfare! I have ants in my garden. They built their hill under my coral bells -- killed the plant. Now they have also moved to my lavender bush. There are hundreds, possible thousands as far down as my shovel will dig. They are killing my garden; I am waiting for home invasion. I have tried the environmentally friendly methods. One internet site suggested icing sugar and baking soda. The ants just walked over it. Then we've had so much rain my white killing powder washed away. Another site suggested boiling water. Yep, it kills the ants it touches -- boils the little bastards and drowns the rest in the top inch of the hill. The queen and her warriors just move the eggs deeper. Human urine is suggested and DS is keen to contribute, but that's a bit gross and as far as I can tell has a rather uncertain success rate.
So, yesterday I went to Home Hardware and bought 3 cans of the Raid home invasion foam. It's the kind advertised on TV that you insert the nozzle down the ant hill and it foams throughout the tunnels. I emptied one entire can on the hill that was where my coral bells used to be. I used TWO cans on the hill growing under my lavender. 2 cans!! That is how deep the tunnels were.
Today I counted only 1 ant. I figured he must have been away yesterday and missed the massacre 'cause there was no other action on either hill.
I won't declare the war over for a day or 2 'cause they could just be underground plotting revenge. You'll know I've surrendered if you see DS out peeing on my lavender bush!