My friend, L, sent me a list of sentences that made me laugh. I've picked my favourites here:
1. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
3. Knowledge is knowiong a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
4. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
5. Why does someone believe you when you say there are 4 billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
6. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
7. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.