stolen from an email

My friend, L, sent me a list of sentences that made me laugh.  I've picked my favourites here:

1.  I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.  Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

2.  The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it's still on the list.

3.  Knowledge is knowiong a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

4.  The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

5.  Why does someone believe you when you say there are 4 billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

6.  I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not sure.

7.  Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.