Saturday, September 25, 2010

confession of insanity

I've been mulling over this post for a few days now.  I decided to write it, 'cause it's been the thing on my mind for several days, so I've got nuttin' else to post. I"ll warn you now, it might make you itchy, or scared of me....

Here we go.

We had a team of volunteers do head lice checks at our school this week.  Whenever the thought of headlice enters my head, I get itchy.  (You are right now too, aren't you?)

That afternoon I became convinced that I had head lice.  Absolutely convinced.  I called DH.  He told me to calm down.  Then I called Sis, because she is a hairdresser, and she knows how this would freak me out.
The call went something like this:

Me:  Sis, I think I have headlice.
Sis:  Are you itchy?
Me:  Yes.  Everywhere.
Sis:  How long has your head been itchy?
Me:  Since this afternoon.
Sis:  (pause) Since the headlice ladies came to your school to check the kids?  Since you started thinking about it?
Me:  Yes.  And I know it's bad.
Sis:  You are freaking out, aren't you?
Me:  Yes, I'm freaking out. 
Sis:  Calm down.  I will check your head when you get home tonight.
Me:  Sniff.  Sniff.  Okay.
Sis:   Don't freak out.

So what did I do? 

I freaked out.  I changed babysitting plans because I didn't want my teenage friend in a house crawling with  lice.  I made Girl help me strip all the beds, gather the decorative cushions and quilts, collect all stuffed animals, doll clothes, towels, laundry etc.  We carried all of it to the basement.  We created a mountain of laundry.  Possibly 30 loads worth....

Then it occurred to me I ought to check Girl.  Nope, she didn't have any sign of bugs or nits.
But me, I was sure I was crawling with them.  I told Girl to stay away from me.

Then I went to Sis's house.  I proudly told her all I had done to start the disinfecting process. 
Then she checked my head.  She took her time; she went through each strand.
Then she declared, "you do not have headlice."

Me:  Are you sure?  I'm itchy.  I can feel things crawling.  It feels like I am infested.
Sis:  You are infested with a raging case of crazy...  (these aren't her exact words, but I know her well enough to know she thought I was nuts.)

So now, bug free, I have a month's worth of laundry to finish this weekend. 
I also know that a saner person might just gather up the quilts and throw pillows and put them back where they belong. 

But it's been established that I have MHI (mental health issues) about some things, so I just can't put them back; they've touched a laundry basket and the basement floor.  I have to sort, wash, dry and then replace.

While I do that, I will try really, really hard not to imagine bedbugs.

1 comment:

  1. OMG, KB, too funny! When we did have it at our house, I freaked, and washed, disinfected, vaccuumed EVERY DAY for 3 WEEKS until both offspring were free...........I was exhausted, and of course, was sure I had lice as well; I was itching all the time. Dear Sue came to the rescue one day when I was near tears! She helped me do M's head again and thoroughly checked me.......she was the voice of reason.