I have voices in my head. I can admit that because every mother on the planet hears the same ones.
I heard the voices loud and clear this week at the dentists office. While DD was getting her check up one voice was saying "the dentist has been looking in there a long time. You should have made her brush more often. You know sometimes she just wets her toothbrush. If she has a mouthful of cavities it will be your fault." This is voice that makes us want to do the right thing. This voice is the voice of guilt.
The other voice was saying "well, if she's got cavities it will be her own fault. You told her every morning and every night to brush. If she didn't do what she was told it was her own fault. Maybe now she'll know you were right." This is the voice that needs to be right. Some days it is just as loud as the guilty voice but it is a lot bitchier.
I hadn't really thought about these voices until this week. They have been around for 10 years, 8 months so I am used to them. Neither voice is good on its own -- moms already carry much guilt about everything, and I certainly don't need to be bitchier. But I think maybe both voices balanced out lead to sanity. The do-right voice leads us to make better choices and the be-right voice helps us to see that children need to make their own choices and live with consequences.
So I am ok with these voices. It is the voice that interrupts and says "Me want chocolate" that I struggle with!