I watched a few minutes of Regis and Kelly this morning while I had my get-up-and-go-tea. Kate from "Jon and Kate Plus 8" was on. Apparently Jon left her in June (I don't watch the show, didn't know) with the EIGHT kids. Yikes! She was talking about the show for the fall and about she is managing the change in her life. I just can't fathom how one could go through this with paparazzi following her everywhere. Kate was saying that the show cameras are one thing because they are respectful and there is some control there, but the paparazzi are entirely different.
Honestly, I wouldn't do well with either. The world does not need to see "R and Lunatic K with Two."
Viewers may take exception with my advice, borne of desperation a couple of weeks ago. DS has decided that the best fun is to tease his sister until she squeals. She squeals alot. ALOT! It's a loud, finger-nails on chalk-board scream/cry/squeal. I've talked to DS, but that has minimal effect. My solution was to go to DD. This was our converstion:
Me: Clearly, screaming and squealing has not been effective in dealing with your brother.
DD: I know.
Me: So you need another solution.
DD: I don't know what to do, he makes me so MAD (voice starting to get that baby-pig squeal again...)
Me: You could try asking him in a NORMAL voice to stop. You could leave the room. You could choose a different activity. You could come to me and ask for help, in a NORMAL voice. If all else fails -- hit him!
(Yep, I suggested hitting him -- 'cause a) I knew she'd never hurt him and b) I would rather she did something to help herself rather than squeal and wait for someone to solve her problems for her -- yes, I realize this won't get me Mother of the Year again this year.)
DD: Hit him? I can hit him?
Me: I'm not giving you permission to hit him whenever you want. You may still be in trouble for hitting, but if that is your very last resort then you need to take action to solve your own problems.
So it's been about a week and half since I broke the "mother code" with my advice for physical aggression, but DD, bless her heart, has not hit DS. Though I believe in a couple of instances I would have if I were in her place. My house is a little quieter... at least it doesn't sound like I have an injured piggy anymore.
Come to think of it, maybe I should be filming DS and DD, then I could play back their behaviour over and over and over and let them enjoy the sounds of "just playing around!"
Whoooo ... I am proud of your confession and your solution. I have found myself in a similar situation with the older daughter playing victim and begging (in the pig squealing voice!) the younger one to stop; pulling, pushing, pinching, touching, or -- fill in any other annoyance here.
ReplyDeleteMy older daughter will squeal until I can't stand to hear it anymore and I barge in to break up whatever the rucus is. Most of the time instead of being mad at the younger one for whatever she is doing ... and yes, she is usually doing something provoking, I am mad at the older one for being squealy and annoying! It seems wrong, but I am most annoyed by the older one's whinging! I too gave the older one permission to whop her sister if (and only if!) she was being hurt. In my case, we had to go back to the "no hitting" at all rule because we had WWF wrestling around here for a couple of days until I figured out what was going on! ACK! So now, I tell the older one to tell the little one once, "Please stop 'XYZ', I don't like that". I told her to get up and walk away if it doesn't stop. They still get into arguments and squabbles and there is some squealing, but it doesn't feel quite as annying as before.
Good luck and thanks for your post! :-)